This is something that I’ve wanted to share for a while now. With models like Winnie Harlow (bravely) flaunting their Vitiligo, the sad reality is millions of men and women do not have the same platform to be as easily accepted. Now whilst it might sound harsh, and I’m sure even the models are often snubbed, the society we live in these days is just not used to people out of the “norm”.
Waking up every morning to a speckled face takes a lot of patience. Walking past the mirror, looking to see if there is a development, and analysing new spots whilst praying that it is your eyes or the light playing tricks on you. I have had Vitiligo for eleven years and Alhamdullilah it has been quite steady, only really progressing in the last few years. Here’s the frustrating thing, I actually got rid of my Vitiligo. Yup, the whole thing disappeared totally, and I looked “normal” again. But it didn’t last long, and I awoke to see the unsightly white specks forming overnight. Needless to say it was equally frustrating and heartbreaking.
A lot of people say, “oh my God, I know exactly how you feel, I have eye bags or really bad acne.” Sorry but that’s not exactly the same. Whilst you may be concious of these, you would still be able to nip to the corner shop without a dot of make up on your face. Not me, I can’t even open the front door without the comfort of my “mask”. Every single day, after washing my face and brushing my teeth, I resort to colouring in the voids of my face. As I cover up my arms and legs due to religious reasons, I don’t worry too much about the other specks.
I am very grateful that I am supplied Kryolan DermaColor Creme and Fixing Powder from the hospital, I know many do not have that luxury. It is saddening when I can’t wear normal concealer to highlight my eyes, or blend my blusher with the fear of blending off my cover up. I am aware that this sounds incredibly shallow but the point of this post is to highlight what goes through the head of someone who doesn’t fit the “norm”.
I’m sure many people think I should give people more credit, but it is that fear or being mocked, the insecurity and the low confidence which has made me wear a mask everyday for the last eleven years. The one day I plucked up the courage to “unmask” my face was on the day I performed my Umrah (mini pilgrimage) Alhamdullilah. I thought if I can’t bare all to my Creator now, when can I? And with that leap of faith, I spent the whole day without any make up at all. The next day, all was back to normal.
So next time you ask someone, “Why are you wearing make up, you should be confident.” or “Your eyes can’t be that sensitive if you wear mascara every day.” Just stop yourself for a second and think, with every lash of mascara I apply, with every streak of my eyeliner, with every blot of my lipstick, I try to build up that confidence that society has knocked for being “different”.